A little soulmate guide

How can I tell if I'm developing a good friendship with someone?

If you spend more than 200 hours together with another person voluntarily and of your own accord, there is a good chance that this will turn into a close friendship.

Life time is so precious that we are often only prepared to spend this time with another person on the condition of a special and rare closeness to him or her.

Why don't some friendships grow stronger?

For a deep friendship, there must be mutual give and take on an equal footing and a mutual understanding that creates the basis for future trust.

Without this prerequisite, you may establish good contact with the other person, but it won't be enough for a deep friendship.

Why do I find some new contacts superficial?

When you meet people whose formative life experience is dissimilar to your own, you often sense this very quickly. The perceived strangeness prevents you from engaging in a trusting dialog and you switch to a superficial mode. In doing so, you avoid the risk of being misunderstood or devalued.

Why am I losing friends?

If you no longer understand your old friend or no longer get what you need from her or him, your interest in this person will wane. In such a case, there is a risk of unspoken or open conflict. Your old friend feels the same way in reverse.

When our life situation changes, we change too. We can then become estranged from friends with whom we once felt close.

Even if your or your friend's world of knowledge changes, this can lead to effects such as alienation or loss of respect and therefore also to a loss of friendship.

Why doesn't my partner understand me in areas that are important to me?

A large part of your actions are intuitive, i.e. they do not follow a simple plan that could be written down on a list.

Your intuition is shaped by fundamental life experiences and beliefs that you are not always aware of.

If your partner has not been shaped in important areas in a similar way to you, she or he will lack the prerequisites to understand certain of your intuitive patterns of action. Your partner simply won't be able to empathise with them.

How does affinity emerge and what does it mean?

The human soul strives to satisfy basic needs such as sufficient nutrition, safety, security, material provision, gaining knowledge, appreciation, finding purpose and spirituality. Depending on how fulfilling or difficult the satisfaction of these needs has been in your life, you will develop mental focuses. Over the years, your aspirations also shape your understanding of the world, as this serves as a tool for you to better satisfy your needs.

If you now meet another person who has had to overcome similar challenges in satisfying needs of life as you have and has also developed an understanding of the world that is similar to yours, this person will understand you in many ways, unlike other people, without you having to explain anything to her or him.

If this special person also complements you in the skills you have acquired, you can achieve much more in your joint endeavors than if you had never met. Complementing means that you have different strengths and are therefore less likely to get into a competitive conflict.

People who meet in this way see each other as soulmates.

How do I recognise soulmates?

Affinity is independent of your and the other person's gender and, in certain areas, also independent of age.

You often get a first indication of a soulmate condition when you like the other person's appearance, facial expressions and gestures. If, when you get to know the person better, you realise that the person intuitively understands you particularly well and vice versa, this is an important sign of a soulmate condition. Pay particular attention to the fact that this understanding comes across to both of you from your feelings and not from your head and is also enduring.

If you both also find each other's life experience exotic and fascinating at the same time, you can tell each other a lot and give each other a lot. Then you are perfect soulmates.